Consummated Randomness

Delayed Truths

As I sit here and listen to Ani and Frou Frou I reflect back on my life over the past week and a wash of numbness passes over me. I'm currently sitting in a daze, recovering from a brain cell killing extravaganza last night. Last night was nice though--carefree, stressfree, unfortunately not fat free due to the Steak n' Shake trip we made. The night before, however, was one of those nights you just wish would dissappear and people would act like it never happened. My roommates and I started drinking margaritas early while we were preparing dinner---by the time dinner was over, two of us were already pretty drunk and we were headed for more. Then a friend came over and we binged on the bubbler for a while before it was time to head over to the party, where I had even more to drink. All of this happened before 11:30pm. Needless to say, I was horribly smashed and out of my mind before midnight. And sometime shortly after midnight I was on my knees outside throwing up into the bushes. Fun? well it was at the time. After I threw up I made my rounds of goodbyes and came home to watch a movie peacefully in my drunkeness. Unfortunately I ended up getting on the computer first and I wrote a few well-intentioned albeit drunk emails that I don't even remember the content of. All of them backlashed, I think,...one was to the boy in London who then got online shortly after and I found out he is dating someone over there...okay...and the other was to my Ex...he still doesn't want to talk to me. To tell you the truth, finding out about London's boyfriend didn't affect me that much...I sort of expected it...but I'm afraid it's going to put us in a position where we don't know what to say to each other when we talk. Then there's the deal about telling my close friends, who then proceed to give me this 'told you so' look and ask me why I do this to myself...what I've done, I don't even know...but their advice is, fuck it, forget it, he's giving you the runaround, spring break is out of the question even if he wants you to come visit, there's always someone else out there...mmhmm, Gainesville doesn't hold much hope for me. Anyways I'm rambling. Point is, I haven't really had much time to stop and think about anything lately, let alone the discoveries of my drunken night. Right now I'm just trying to wake up before heading off to work for nine hours, then I will come home and watch some tv for about an hour, go back to bed, wake up early enough to then go back to work and open the store. And after all the working, I will have to sit myself down and absorb pages upon pages of dry, overly wordy rubbish and proceed to write a paper on part of it. Yuck. But such is my life right now. For now, there is nothing to look forward to anytime soon. Just routine retail work, intellectual schoolwork, and mindless exterminating of brain cells. Ciao.

posted by RPF @ 12:10 AM